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Last Line Blogfest

I'm participating in The Last Line Blogfest with Lilah. Click on that link to visit her last lines and other writer's who are participating.

Quick rabbit trail: I'm an official writer now! I'm working for Suite101 writing articles. Yay! I'll have my latest articles in a widget on the side of the blog soon.

Back to the regular program: The Last Line Blogfest is where I post the last line of something I've written. Or the last twenty-five lines. So here are the last twenty-five (thirty-seven actually since some of it is a poem) (I suck at poetry by the way, it's just part of the story) lines of my novel.

   Jane sipped on her cappuccino and fondled the journal. She couldn’t help herself. She opened it and started reading.
   When she got a quarter of the way in, Liza had written this:

    My mother used to love me. I don’t know why, but when you came along, it changed her. She became the voice in my head. Not the good one, the one that tells you that you’re wrong all the time. And when I met John, I kept him a secret. The first time he met my parents it was to tell them we were getting married. It was a disastrous night; I don’t want to relive it here.
    And when we started planning our wedding, my mother took over. My brother hadn’t gotten married yet, and he was a boy. I was her daughter, even if she didn’t like me. But it was hell. I’ll put it this way, whenever we walked into a dress shop, my mother would ask for only the cream-colored dresses.
    So John decided to give me the best gift ever. My friend Sarah and I went shopping for a white dress. John said it had to be white. And three days later we were secretly married at the local courthouse. I wore this gorgeous dress (I’ll put a picture in here) and flip-flops. John looked beyond handsome in his best suit.
    It was the most beautiful day.


    One White dress
    Two Flip-flops
    One judge
    Two friends


   On the next page a Polaroid was taped in. It was a photo of John holding Liza in his arms, in her white dress. Her flip-flops were dangling from her feet, and they weren’t taking their eyes off each other. In the background were two people making faces, probably their closest friends.
   Jane closed the journal and held up the dress. It was a little faded, but that only added to the beauty. It was so simple and elegant; it took her breath away. She wondered where the flip-flops were.


Christine Danek said...

I really like this Amie. Great Job!

Lori said...

Very cool! I'm checking out the link.

Susan Fields said...

I love this - just from this short excerpt I have a real feel for Liza's relationship with her mother and with John. I definitely want to read more!

Eric W. Trant said...

Holy crap that's a fast read, a smooth, easy voice that rolls from sentence to sentence.

I love that voice!

- Eric

sarahjayne smythe said...

Oh, I like this. I can imagine her reading this and feeling. Nice job.

Elaine AM Smith said...

Very sweet. I want to know where they are too! ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh, wow, this was spectacular. The emotion I felt from your MC is so real and done so well.

bryan sabol said...

Very nice! I like the sparseness of the writing; it adds to the sense of nostalgia.

Embee said...

It's so sweet. It makes me want to know more about the MC, whose journal it is, etc. Nice job.

Mary McDonald said...

The excerpt makes me think the story is a feel-good story. It's relaxing.

KM said...

Super cute entry. I love the little list/poem. :)

F said...

This was pleasant to read... You could feel the warmth from the memories recorded in the journal and how that made Jane feel... This was nice.

Hanna C. Howard said...

Last Lines are lovely, but they're never enough. I liked it! I want to know more!

(I'm down with critique-partnering if you are.)

Anonymous said...

I love it SO much! I really hope you do more blogfests, I definitely want to read more of your writing. (Congrats on being a "real writer" by the way :) ) Thanks SO much for participating!

Raquel Byrnes said...

Such a great scene the last one, looking at the dress and musing about what it represents.

Donna Hole said...

Here is a sad story in the making. I'm anxious to know what went wrong between mother and daughter; and where this daughter is now.

Excellent voice and character building. The pacing was perfect; but it was over way to soon for me.


Christine H said...

I love that last line... "She wondered where the flip-flops were." Well done!

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

I love that last line! Ooh. Makes me want to know the whole story :)

Nishant said...

Very sweet
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