I'm through the first edit of the book I wrote in November. It's all situated and in the right order. I just have to fill a few holes and finish the ending. It's really coming together nicely. Now I just have to worry about finding an agent. Anybody have any tips?
I thought I'd give you a little snippet from the very beginning. Let me know if you like it!
The fluorescent light reflected in her big, brown eyes. She gripped the edge of the bed and gritted her teeth against the pain. Her indifferent mother watched from the chair in the corner. Her father held her hand with his head turned away.
“You’ll be just fine, Sweetheart. Just fine,” he said.
“No one can survive this,” she whispered.
“I did. You’re here, aren’t you? This is the consequence for what you did. It felt good at the time, didn’t it?”
“Margaret, hush. You’re making her worse,” her father berated her mother. The sheets soaked up her sweat and turned a funky yellow color. She didn’t think she could handle the next onset of intense pain. As her back relaxed, she settled into the pillows and rubbed her hair away from her eyes.
“Is there some water?”
Her father handed her the glass with the straw. Dragging on the liquid with a severe sucking noise, she swallowed quickly before the next contraction hit her. While she struggled against the clenching muscles, her mother stood and left the room. In just a few minutes the doctor came in and flipped up the sheet. He probed between her legs and snapped off his gloves.
“You’re ready. We’re going to move you into the delivery room.”
“No, no. I’m not ready. This can’t be happening. I’m not ready. Mama, please. It hurts so much. Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.”
Her mother patted her arm and walked alongside the bed. Her hard-as-steel eyes stared straight ahead. Before her mother could stop walking, she grabbed her sweater and held on for dear life.
“Please come with me. I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. Please don’t abandon me. Please help me.”
Her mother looked down into those wide, insane eyes and softened just a little bit. “I’ll be right here, Elizabeth. Don’t worry. You’ll get through this. You’ll survive, and then you’ll give that baby to someone else. Someone who can handle this.” She swept some stray hairs out of her daughter’s face. “Why did this have to happen to us?” she asked the air.
3 comments:
ok so what's the blurb from the back so to speak ... i like it, i want to hear more!!
What a beautiful beginning... I'm hooked! :o) Very exciting about your book... You have a gift with words and photo. Speaking of photos, many thanks for stopping by my photo blog this week--terrific to see you! :o)
Well, you do have some hooked readers now-!!me too!!
Best,
Annamaria :)
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